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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:49 am 
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SCOOP:

IGNORANCE theory
by kj nelson

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:91 Coming soon!!!! :91

This is a real scoop
A friend of mine (kj nelson) is putting the finishing touches to her first published book... should be available soon as Kindle as well as audiobook.
(Watch this space for excerpts and links to purchase)

kjnelson says:
    "I have worked on it on & off for the past 9 years, now it is done with a bit of editing still needed. 20 chapters, about 350 pages. My intentions were to record the audiobook myself, and send them both to Amazon for sale. I am still working on the audio, that will come later, I want to get the book there very soon. It's a cross between Steven King & Dr. Seuss. Sarcastic horror, if you will. Science fiction, unrealistic, but true overall. "

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 2:58 am 
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Oooo...sounds like my kind of book!

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:59 pm 
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I was honoured to be able to read an advance copy. I just finished reading it and it was a great read, a page turner.

The themes are dark but made palatable with humour akin to Monty Python, or perhaps The Rock Horror Picture Show.

Blood and gore and stench abound... but there is always time for a break to drink beer and smoke a cigarette :43

Here is a great excerpt from Chapter 10
    "There it was! The human egg cell Pete had stuck his nucleus into, then threw in the trash.
    It was the eeriest, most ghoulish thing Pete had ever seen. It was morbid.
    It was the egg cell, stretched around a grown clone man, purple, and split open on the
    top, stinking, and drawing flies. The cell and flesh were swelled so tight, that one poke
    would have sent the horror raining down upon Pete. The nucleus in the egg cell had evolved."

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 3:32 pm 
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It brings to my mind a few songs on Beatles "White Album"

Mother Nature's Son




Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:38 pm 
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:91 Ignorance Theory - Now on Sale!

Be in to get a copy of what will be a "Best Seller"

http://www.amazon.com/Ignorance-Theory- ... nce+theory


ONLY $13.99 A Bargain!!

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Book Description
Publication Date: November 22, 2012
    Technology begins, and advances beyond moral behavior. Cement and steel kill Mother Nature. Scientists botch a special scientific experiment and accidentally clone a human man.

    A new breed of evil sets loose into the future-
    man-made men with hollow eyes and rancid flesh.
    But, they’re just too dumb.

    The President of Silverbelle Brand Technology orders armies of clones, while scientists kill men for brain blood, heart blood, and soul blood to produce a smarter, more human, human clone.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:47 pm 
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Because of this book I looked into "Kindle"..

You can download (FREE) a player to view and save Kindle books to your PC (or MAC)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/r ... 1000493771

When I downloaded Kindle for Windows XP I got 3 free books so you can evaluate how it works.

Treasure Island
Aesop's Fables
Pride and Prejudice.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:08 pm 
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I downloaded it for Windows 7 and got the same 3 books.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:31 pm 
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And..... once you have the Kindle Download you can BUY Ignorance Theory for only $13.99

Amazon has a FREE sample available.... you get the first three chapters... just click on the link to download.

http://www.amazon.com/Ignorance-Theory- ... nce+theory

On right hand side "Try it Free" click "Send Sample now"

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:39 pm 
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I got the sample chapters. I've read the first page. Seems like a really good read! Going to read the rest first thing in the morning. (I have a feeling I won't be able to put it down once I start.)

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:51 pm 
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I found it to be a "page turner" and easy to read. A few characters come and go.. but it's nothing like Dr Zhivago (or Game of Thrones) :24

"Phil and Don" pop into the story for a bit... who knows if that is a reference to Phil and Don Everly? :61


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 9:02 pm 
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Thank goodness for that! (I should have just waited and watched Game of Thrones on tv! I'm getting too old to remember hundreds of main characters! :95)

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:38 am 
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Hello humans, thank you so much rumpy (can i call you that here?) for all the great publicity. You have actually done more than I have. I get places to publicize, then end up doing everything but.... if i sell even one book i will owe it all to you.
If anyone is in the mood for a strange read, follow rumpy's link and get yourself some beer & smokes and kick back and learn about the future.
Always veer away from silver & steel bins & silos, and if you're going to make a human clone, remember to wash your hands first!
Also, cannot forget> Justice for Caylee!
thanks!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:44 am 
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:91 Hi KJ :91

Wow the first celebrity I have ever had post at RT.... world famous author :32

You CAN read this book without Beer and smokes...... but why would you? :31

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:50 am 
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kjnelson wrote:
Hello humans, thank you so much rumpy (can i call you that here?) for all the great publicity. You have actually done more than I have. I get places to publicize, then end up doing everything but.... if i sell even one book i will owe it all to you.
If anyone is in the mood for a strange read, follow rumpy's link and get yourself some beer & smokes and kick back and learn about the future.
Always veer away from silver & steel bins & silos, and if you're going to make a human clone, remember to wash your hands first!
Also, cannot forget> Justice for Caylee!
thanks!



You mean I'm the first person to buy your book? How cool is that! :98

I can't wait to read it!

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:15 am 
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Well done Mal..... :4

Not sure how you get a "signed copy" when it's a Kindle... I'll see what I can do :24

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:16 am 
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I was wondering that. Does she sign my monitor? :84

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:33 am 
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Thank you so much for purchasing, it makes me giddy! I can't wait to discuss IT!! You guys are awesome.
I will sign anything you want. Honest, send me your address, I will send you a signature!
I really hope you enjoy reading IT as much as I did writing the crazy thing!

Rumpy is ahead of himself a little, with the world famous author stuff, I'm just a simple kittehmama, who, as you can probably tell, knows NOTHING about posting here! Sometimes I catch on, sometimes I don't. Will see.

You guys rock! :87


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:48 am 
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Practice makes perfect, KJ and you know I will help. :38

Then if you still don't get it ... you can report to my office Image

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:24 pm 
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Another excerpt..it might ring true for anybody who has tried to ring a government department: :9



Ignorance Theory - by kj nelson wrote:
The phone buzzed on the other end, and a machine picked up. “You have reached an environmental agency in the department of technology. We are out of the office right now. If you want to leave a message, press 1. If you don’t want to leave a message, press 2. If you want to try your luck at actually reaching someone live, press 3.”
Phil pressed 3.
The call was transferred to another desk where a live voice answered. “You’ve reached the department of an environmental agency in the department of technology.”
A live voice. Phil forgot why he’d called.
“Hello?” The live guy raised his voice.
“Oh, hey, I found some dead animals at a lake that’s contaminated, and wonder if you could send someone out to take a look.”
“Dead animals?” The guy seemed confused about what dead animals were.
“Yeah, they’re like, poisoned or somethin, it’s pretty unnatural, the lake is all dead, it stinks, and...”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.” The guy broke in, “Animals ain’t my department. Here’s Mak.”
“This is Mak.”
“Hey, I found some dead animals.”

“Dead animals? Tom’s in charge of dead animals. He ain’t here today.”
“I just want someone to check it out, it’s pretty weird.”
“Like what?” Mak wanted to know.
“I don’t know, like something poisoned them, or maybe it’s the water…”
“You say you were poisoned? That ain’t my department. Call the hospital.”
“Not me, the animals, and water.”
“Oh, water, that’s Jon’s department, he ain’t here today neither. Here’s Jed.”
“This is Jed.”
“Hey, why would someone poison the birds and fish?”
“I don‘t know, it ain’t my department. Hang on.” Jed yelled to another guy in the office. “Some guy found a dead bird.”
“What kinda bird?” Someone yelled from the background.
Jed got back on the line to Phil. “What kinda bird?”
“I don’t know what kind of bird it was!”
“He don’t know.” Jed yelled back to the guys. Then Phil heard him tell the others, “Besides a dead bird!”
Now Phil could hear heckling and laughing, like the guys had gathered round Jed’s desk.
“Hey, can someone just come out here and take a look?” Phil asked nicely.
Jed asked the guys, “Can someone go look at it?”
“Look at it hell, we believe him!” Someone else yelled back.

Jed was back on the line. “No one has to see it we believe you.”
“That’s not the point! There’s a serious problem!”
“He says it’s serious.” Jed told the guys.
One of the guys yelled back. “Can’t be too serious- the bird’s already dead!”
Laughs all around.
“The lake is contaminated and dried up!” Phil kept on.
“There’s other lakes.” Jed told Phil.
“Hey, can I please talk to someone else?” Phil asked.
“Talk about what?”
“Well, about the lake!”
Jed asked the guys, “Anyone know where there’s another lake?”
Phil heard someone tell Jed, “Hurry up and get off the phone, it’s your turn to deal.”
“Nope.” Jed told Phil firmly. “Ain’t no other lakes around. Try the water department.“ Jed hung up the phone.
There Phil stood with the receiver in his hand, rubbing his temples, trying to make sense of life. The automated lady came back on the line


Ignorance Theory by kj nelson (Chapter 11)
http://www.amazon.com/Ignorance-Theory- ... 271&sr=1-1

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:39 pm 
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Which reminds me of a Kevin Bloody Wilson song... "Dick'taphone"

****Language NSFW****


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