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What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?
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Author:  Rumpole [ Mon Dec 30, 2013 7:27 am ]
Post subject:  What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?
Barry Petchesky on Deadspin
Laughing at other people's pain
Wednesday 12:00pm

Image

As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of
emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest
examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity.

Sorted by orifice, working south:

Ear:
SEED
PAINTBRUSH
"SOME BALLS"
SLAG
MAKEUP BRUSH
PATIENT TOLD PARENTS THAT THE CATS STUCK SOMETHING IN HER EAR
GASOLINE
BUTTERFLY
HERSHEY KISS
"CLASSMATE PUT A ROCK IN EAR, HAS PIECE OF PAPER IN OTHER EAR"

Nose:
EAR PLUG
CRAYON
PLASTIC EYEBALL
HEART-SHAPED GEM
DIME
PENNY
NICKEL
AA BATTERIES
SPONGE
SMALL DECORATIVE ROCK
2 ERASERS
MULCH
"PLACED A BEAD IN HER NOSTRIL, PATIENT HAS NO COMPLAINTS"

Throat:
DETERGENT PACK
WHISTLE
ENGAGEMENT RING
"SWALLOWED A QUARTER WHILE TAKING A SHOWER"
"DOING MAGIC TRICK AT SCHOOL & SWALLOWED A QUARTER"
SCHOOL LOGO MAGNET
CONFETTI
SCREW
A TACO
BALL OF STRING
A BEE

Penis:
PENIS PLUG
20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS
DICE
FISHTANK AIRHOSE
ANTENNA
SEWING NEEDLE
BB PELLET
"WIDE WOODEN DOWEL"
NAIL
PLASTIC PIPE, DENTAL FLOSS WITH BEADS
WIRE
MARBLE
EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS "TO PLEASE THE LADIES"

Vagina:
GLUE STICK
BARRETTE
SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR–"IT'S STILL ON"
TOILET PAPER
"LONG BLACK OBJECT"
PENIS RING
RIVET
"WORMS COMING OUT OF PEE-PEE"—PINWORMS
SPOON
PENCIL ERASER
PLASTIC BOTTLE OF CREAM (LID STILL ON)
NAPKINS IN VAGINA TO HAVE SEX DURING PERIOD

Rectum:
PENCIL
PENCILS
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
COLOGNE BOTTLE
LOTION JAR
SODA CAN
SODA BOTTLE
FLASHLIGHT
BATHTUB STOPPER
SHOT GLASS (BROKEN)
SOCK
ICE PACK
END OF CURTAIN ROD
"PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH"
VIBRATOR
VIBRATOR BATTERY
COVER OF VIBRATOR
TIP OF VIBRATOR
"BIG PURPLE DILDO"
"PATIENT STATES HE GOT DRUNK AND PASSED OUT AT GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE, AWOKE WITH SPOONS AND DILDOS IN RECTUM"
LIGHTER
TOY SUBMARINE
TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER
2 HALVES OF BAR OF SOAP
POOL BALL
LIT BOTTLE ROCKET; "IT DIDN'T GO WELL"

...link
http://deadspin.com/what-did-we-get-stu ... 6/@barryap
Author:  Maltese Mama [ Mon Dec 30, 2013 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?
:Gslap Some of those excuses explanations. ..
Author:  Rumpole [ Mon Dec 30, 2013 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?
I wonder if people could add to the list(s)..... :40

Perhaps not personal experiences... :30

.... but what they have read/heard about :cool
Author:  Maltese Mama [ Mon Dec 30, 2013 9:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?
"PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH"

Must have had Hemorrhoids. I think the candy cane would be a better choice for that. :84 (In the opposite direction, that is.)
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