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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 6:05 pm 
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H/T Sundance at CTH......

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's Christmas Greeting - 2013



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 6:06 pm 
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As I posted at CTH.....

Quote:
rumpole2 says:
December 25, 2013 at 5:02 pm

That is very nice. The man has a lot of class and smarts in abundance.
I spotted him, and was impressed, way back when he used to pop up on US TV as a minor Israeli government spokesman (junior foreign minister)… I was pleased to watch his career unfold.
Does he have dual US citizenship by any chance?…. rework on his Birth certificate and he could be good to go as US President?

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:25 am 
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Quote:
CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God."
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS: That's right.
CLERK: Repeat it.
WITNESS: "Repeat it".
CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.
WITNESS: What you said when?
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS: "That the evidence that I give."
CLERK: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know.
CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be
the truth and..."
WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and."
CLERK: Say: "Nothing...".
WITNESS: Okay.
(Witness remains silent.)
CLERK: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Well? Do so.
WITNESS: You're confusing me.
CLERK: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
WITNESS: Is that all?
CLERK: Yes.
WITNESS: Okay. I understand.
CLERK: Then say it.
WITNESS: What?
CLERK: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: But I do! That's just it.
CLERK: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But",
"The","Truth".
WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now?
CLERK: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
WITNESS: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
CLERK: Thank you.
WITNESS: I'm just not a scholar.


This isn't from Disorder in the Court but I found it to be highly entertaining...


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:57 pm 
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I LIVE BY THESE LAWS...

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
- The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
- The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument
- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
- If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
- As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:06 pm 
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I am all about this ^^^ World's Greatest List! LOL!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:39 pm 
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Ditto!

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:30 am 
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I say ditto too.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:15 pm 
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H/T Sundance and elvischupacabra at CTH

..”Probably fusion”
Posted on January 22, 2014 by sundance

A profound and appreciative HatTip to elvischupacabra. This is funny. No, correction, this is perhaps funny enough to deserve a warning - You might want to duct tape your stomach or your sides might possibly just split.

Image

Continue reading...

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:44 pm 
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Hilarious emails! :lol (I think he pushed it a little too far at the end, though.)

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:03 pm 
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Departing Space Station Commander Provides Tour of Orbital Laboratory



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 4:56 pm 
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I pinched this from CTH....

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:03 pm 
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H/T LetJusticePrevail at CTH......

If you've EVER purchased a beer at Century Link Arena in Boise, WATCH THIS!!



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 1:41 am 
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H/T Sundance, CTH....

Members Only Broadcasting….
Posted on March 19, 2014 by sundance

Image

Fox affiliate KDVR shocked presenters and viewers alike on Tuesday morning when it accidentally aired a photo of a man’s penis during a broadcast about the helicopter crash in Seattle. The station has blamed staff in the control room and says it has taken steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.




http://theconservativetreehouse.com/201 ... adcasting/

Screen shot for those who missed it
Spoiler:
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 1:43 am 
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The Penis Song - Monty Python



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2014 2:58 pm 
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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2014 11:59 pm 
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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2014 4:41 pm 
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Spoiler:
16.

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PostPosted: Thu May 29, 2014 4:10 pm 
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Google Self-Driving Car on City Streets .



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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 7:59 am 
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I saw 16 circles right off and yet when you really stare at it they blend in and hide. Oh and forget that self-driving car. Oh dear!


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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2014 3:21 pm 
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How Predictable Are You?



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