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 Post subject: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:10 pm 
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H/T Joni for this email list....

The Darwins Are Out!!!!
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the "least evolved" among us.


Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!



In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family.... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*****Remember*****

They walk among us; they can reproduce. And they can actually vote!!!! Be on guard!!!!!! :eek

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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:12 pm 
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I think this thread could be a good (and needed) place to post OTHER Nominations for Darwin Awards as they crop up in the news (and Forum posts perhaps) :cool

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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 4:49 pm 
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11. Officer Michael Szeliga reportedly packed a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey in his patrol car before driving to the Hyatt Regency Pier 66 Hotel, where he was supposed to be attending two days of DUI law-enforcement training, paid for by Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Ironically, Szeliga was supposed to get an award from the organization for making more than 100 DUI arrests but was asked to forgo the banquet after showing up "wasted."

There's more to the story: http://bit.ly/1PylfD1


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 6:59 pm 
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They can vote. Sad but true.

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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2015 7:36 pm 
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Hi Carm! :28
Here's another dumb-ass.

12. Paul Terry, 26, was arrested after he and Sonja Moro, 29, allegedly broke into her ex-boyfriend's house in Tulsa, Oklahoma and robbed him at knife point, according to Newson6. The man was easily able to identify the male suspect thanks to his 'F**k Cops' tattoo on his forehead. He also has a tattoo of devil horn's on his head and one of a red lip imprint on his cheek.

http://dailym.ai/1PjKKJj


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Thu Dec 31, 2015 6:39 pm 
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Cheap entertainment for tonight (or any time) :D

https://twitter.com/AwardsDarwin/with_replies


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2016 2:18 am 
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:Gslap :slap :lol :neener :slap :Gslap :lol

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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Fri Jan 01, 2016 2:38 pm 
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Awesome meme, Carm! :lol

There's hope for some of us :)


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 11:14 am 
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Florida man 'steals $60,000 BMW a day after he tried to buy it with food stamps and dealership turned him down'
and how he got caught is in one of the photo captions ... :D

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... tamps.html


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 5:24 pm 
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:Gslap

Authorities said 36-year-old Jackson did not have money to fill the tank of the stolen BMW and subsequently ran out of gas at an intersection. :lol


Poor bastard was probably just trying to go protest a Trump rally :D

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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2016 5:31 pm 
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Teenager dies trying to jump over a moving car
Raisa Habersham The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
5:10 p.m Tuesday, Oct. 11, 2016 Metro Atlanta / State news

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Demetria Almond with her son Kobe Thomas.

A Floyd County teenager died from a traumatic brain injury after he was struck while playing a game called “jump the car.”

Kobe Thomas died Sunday after he was struck by a car, Channel 2 Action News reported. The 16-year-old was playing “jump the car” with a group of friends when the incident happened. The game involves jumping over a car as someone drives toward you.

...more at link
http://www.ajc.com/news/local/teenager- ... WHkwBrQ2N/

(Mom is named Demetria... a variation on dementia?)

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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:16 pm 
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FAIL! :eek

February 13, 2017
A man in Washington state has been arrested for planning to kill his wife and four-year-old daughter after a text message sent in error to his former boss exposed the murder plot.

https://www.rt.com/usa/377233-murder-plot-hitman-text/


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 10:08 pm 
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A man in Arizona learned a valuable lesson about jumping spiked fences in baggy pants. According to a safety report, a locksmith working at the school spotted a man trying to get into a couple of rooms. When the man saw the locksmith he ran and tried to jump back over the school's spiked fence.

The suspect didn't quite make the leap, his pants got caught and he was left hanging upside down with his underwear showing.

That's when Jesse Sensibar and Kristin Woodall were passing by. They snapped a photo and shared the story on Facebook. Sensibar said he saw the man while driving down the road and decided to turn around and help but "by the time I got back around the block the cops were rolling up two cars deep."

Source: http://www.tucsonnewsnow.com/story/3499 ... iked-fence


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:32 am 
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I think his hair is green, but I am colorblind. ;)

Blue-Haired Man Arrested After Peeing On Cruiser, Punching Cop
By Jeff Paul | CBSDFW | April 19, 2017 9:47PM


DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) – Dallas Police are investigating an attack on one of their own that happened in Downtown Dallas on Saturday afternoon as two officers tried to eat lunch.

Security camera footage appears to show a man get up from his table at Zenna Restaurant and walk outside. Once on the street, investigators said the suspect is seen urinating on the police car; then furiously punching the window and shattering the glass.

When the officers were informed of what was happening, the video shows them confronting the man as he walked back inside Zenna. After a few words, it appears that the suspect punches one of the officers in the face.

“That was crazy. I’ve never seen anything like that before,” said manager Johnny Ly. “I feel bad for them. They were probably here on their break time having lunch before they have to go back out to their beat for another 12 hours and this is what they have to deal with.”

After a brief struggle, the two officers were able to wrap up and restrain the man later identified as William Holmes, 27.

Video at link: http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2017/04/19/blue ... ching-cop/


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:43 pm 
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WATCH: Jacksonville officers raid man's house while he's on Facebook Live
By Brittney Donovan | Action News Jax | Updated: June 2, 2017, 1:26 PM ET


A Jacksonville man's Facebook Live was interrupted by officers who raided his home Thursday.

Breon Hollings, 22, was arrested June 1 after officers found a handgun, crack cocaine, ammunition, oxycodone pills and drug paraphernalia at a home on Amazon Avenue, according to an arrest report.

Several people sent Action News Jax a Facebook Live video that appears to show officers raiding his home.

In the video, a man who appears to be Hollings flashes money at the camera for about a minute before he hears officers outside on a loudspeaker.

More at link: http://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local ... /529004190

ETA:
This plays better than website video. After watching, just for laughs, watch again after clicking the CC feature. :Gslap

Florida man busted during raid while on Facebook Live





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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2017 9:00 pm 
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Well, duh! :roll He is only 19. Bad choices all around.
NY Post, July 15, 2017

Teen says tattoo covering half his face is making it hard to find work

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/8a6d287a-6 ... ering.html


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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Sat Jul 15, 2017 10:26 pm 
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WHAT A MAROON!!!

And I see this dope is from NZ :doh

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There is a lot of it about.. a lot stems from the revival in "ethnic" (stone-age tribal) identity :roll

But this idiot can not even claim that excuse.

Loss of "employment options" is NOT the deterent that it should be.. since the "Nanny State" funds people cradle to grave... despite their own BAD life choices.

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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:02 pm 
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What are the odds of someone else waiting in line to get a pizza had a gun? :roll
If I saw a guy in line holding a can of gasoline, I wouldn't wait around. I guess these people are use to this type of mayhem.

Gasoline Prank Gone Wrong in Detroit 0:57sec




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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 6:08 pm 
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:eek I'm guessing she WILL be located. :77

Brazen Shoplifter in Shreveport, LA (2:41min)




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 Post subject: Re: The Darwin Awards
PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 6:15 pm 
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From YT comments....

Johnny Phoenix
She was able to pull it off because she already ate the store's manager.

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