Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, mung!THIS is exactly what I hoped for in this thread! I thoroughly disagree with your conclusions, as you do mine, but you put forward an excellent, thought-provoking, argument to support your views of the case. Thank you!
liesel wrote:
Putting my son into the facts of Kate's case
mung wrote:
Take that from the other side for a second. Suppose your son were the 18 year old and thought he was in love with the 14 year old. Suppose they started fooling around and he was charged for it.
We have raised all of our children to respect themselves and others, and so far, none have been sexually active at age 14. If he at age 18 was sexually interested in a 14 year old, I'd be very, very concerned. He would be either a)trying to hit an "easy" target, which is wrong, imo; b) may have been molested (heaven please forbid, I pray); c) totally ignoring all we've taught him; d) ignoring the law that we've explained to him since he was 13; e) maybe suffering from other psychological issues that would need to be addressed. And that's off the top of my head. There is a huge difference between a 14 year old and an 18 year old, under normal circumstances.
Furthermore, we wouldn't ignore her parents; we would take away his car keys and implement other consequences; we wouldn't allow him any unsupervised contact with her or any other young girl of a similar age; and we most certainly would not allow the 14 year old to stay over at our house,
in our son's bed, after she ran away from home. We would be mortified and working with the other parents to stop the unacceptable behavior, not facilitating it.
mung wrote:
Would you want the world calling him a pedophile and a sexual predator? Would that be an accurate description of what took place? Would you lump your son in with one of the dirt bags on "To Catch a Predator"? Would you want your son to be dragged out into public and chastised for being in love? Would you want your son to have the stigma that goes with these types of charges for the rest of his life?
What I would want and what would be the right thing aren't necessarily the same thing. If our son, like Kate, knew that it was illegal but did it anyway; if he, like Kate continued after parental involvement, etc.; if we, as his parents, failed in our job to curb his behavior, well, if he's man enough to ignore us
and the law, he's man enough to suffer the consequences, no matter how harsh.
mung wrote:
Isn't there some kind of compromise where charges can be filed, a penalty is served, but a federal case doesn't need to be made out of it?
Kate had the opportunity to stop the behavior before charges were filed. She chose not to. One gets the impression that Kate has pretty much always gotten what she wanted from her parents, but not what she needed, kwim? Did you see the video of her at the beach, cursing and egging her sister on to beat up another girl? Multiple tattoos, and pierced navel as a high school student, likely when a minor? Etc. etc. etc.
Kate was offered a plea deal with no jail time, but no guarantee whether she'd have to register as a sex offender or not, which she flatly rejected. A second plea deal was offered, and withdrawn yesterday iirc, where she'd get zero jail time and would
not have to register as a sex offender. She should have taken it. All the minor's parents wanted was for Kate to stop having sex with their daughter. She wouldn't stop. Kate's parents wouldn't stop her - they
helped her! What would you do? What kind of compromise can be reached when Kate's and her parent's only response to date is that whatever Kate does is ok with them because, um, because Bigot! Homophobe!
mung wrote:
That being said, there is a possibility that she could have gotten away with not having to register as a sex offender through the Romeo and Juliette law, but I think that was blown with the text messages, which I think were mutual by the way. That 14(now 15) year old didn't get 20K messages and not want them. Lets be logical here. They both still want to be together or that ipod would have been turned over or thrown out after the first message.
Our youngest want ice cream way more than we want them to have it. Our son has been busted sneaking treats out of the kitchen to the point we started keeping them in our bedroom for a while. We don't let them do whatever they want. We also don't let others manipulate, guilt-trip, and threaten* them, as it's my understanding was going on with the ipod that magically appeared in the minor's locker.
I'm not saying what the 14 year old did by hiding this from her parents was ok, it's not. But she wasn't under a court order and Kate was. Kate and her parents seem to be manipulative people who feel that laws don't - or at least shouldn't - apply to them. Even when 14 year old children are being harmed.
Again, thank you, mung! I'm looking forward to your response! It will be later today or tomorrow before I can reply again though.
*not suggesting physical violence.
_________________
All posts are my own opinion and do not necessarily reflect the views of Random Topics. Differences are allowed here.
Login
FAQ
