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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:50 pm 
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It's true! :lol

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:00 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:42 pm 
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Romance texting;


A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams..

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

I love you!


The husband, typically non-romantic, replied ,

I am on the commode. Please advise."

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:23 am 
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God and the Harley Rider

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for such a worldly thing. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help all of mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

God replied: "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:05 am 
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Problem solving flow chart

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 4:00 pm 
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I need to print that out for my new Boss. I don't think he's ever heard the expression, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

He's always "fixing" everything and then I have to spend enormous amounts of time to get things in the office working smoothly again. :TF

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:27 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 31, 2013 6:16 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 3:57 am 
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Why men hate talking to women


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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 5:39 pm 
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Chopper Read - Harden the fuck up


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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 6:14 pm 
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Rumpole wrote:
I think the thread title "Men Only" is GUARANTEED to attract nosy women :69

Yep. :84


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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:18 pm 
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I think he was way too nice to that kid Michael. He needs to harden the fuck up. :Gslap

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Always choose a memorable password!

A lady helps her man to install a new computer.
Once it is completed,
she tells him to select a password,
a word that he'll always remember.
as the computer asks him to enter it,
he looks at his wife and with a macho
gesture and a wink in his eye, he selects
a word but he is annoyed with her reaction,
when he selects: mypenis
As he hits "enter", to validate the selection,
his wife collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysteria


The computer had replied:
Spoiler:
TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED!

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 1:00 am 
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And - last but not least - - - -




23. Out of diapers?

I can fix that!


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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 4:16 pm 
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Continuing the series......


20 Homemade Things That Shouldn’t Be Home-Made

( I'll post them over time)

2. Toilets

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:52 am 
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Perhaps the most profound observation I have heard in recent times.


"Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free...it's women who make it hard."

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jul 31, 2013 9:50 pm 
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:Gslap

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:43 am 
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An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 AM and was asked where
he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the
effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of
night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."*

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 6:11 pm 
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Continuing the series......


20 Homemade Things That Shouldn’t Be Home-Made

( I'll post them over time)

3. Hot Tubs

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 Post subject: Re: Men Only Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 6:46 pm 
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THE MALE CYCLE OF LIFE

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with great breasts.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with great breasts, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with great breasts.

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